The General Situation

My Three-Month Backpacking Adventure Across Europe

Yesterday, we attended our first Newcomers event—a non-themed get-together at a member's backyard. We spoke to seven people over the course of the 75 minutes we were there, which was enough (people and time). Everyone was nice. The house, meanwhile, was interestingly amid a 400-acre avocado farm, whose owner apparently allowed three residential streets to be built there. I was aware that avocados won't fully ripen until after you've picked them, but I did not know that farmers can "inventory" them on the trees for several months—which explains how they always seem to be available at the farmer's market. Or so our host told us; he also has quite a few avocado trees of his own, and I see no reason to doubt him.

P.S. I could've really used the $1 option back when I had $9 in my bank account.

P.P.S. This house just came on the market. Why not go all the way and make the pool a moat?

P.P.P.S. A gazillion years ago, when I started this blog, I thought "The General Situation" looked lonely at the top of the page, but I didn't want to commit to a tagline. ("My three-month backpacking adventure across Europe" is the blogging platform's example, which I was tempted to use just for its randomness.) Instead, I've run various snippets of lyrics, which are amusing to me but probably no one else. They hang out for a while in the left column of the blog, and every now and then, I archive them in a post, like this.

"If you need me, I'll be where my reputation don't precede me." —Miranda Lambert, "Vice"

"They tell me God forgives you for almost anything you do." —Cowboy Junkies, "Forgive Me"

"Maybe we could walk around, all day long. Walk around, all day long." —John Mellencamp, "Hurts So Good"

"This will be the last time I ever do your hair." —Scissor Sisters, "Laura"

"Never stop living here till it eats the heart from your soul, keeps down the sound of your silent sigh." —Badly Drawn Boy, "Silent Sigh"

"I'm not a slut! I just love love." —Pink, "Slut Like You"

"There's one year of my life in these songs, and some of them are about you." —George Michael, "Waiting (Reprise)"

"Your eyes are burning holes through me. I'm gasoline. I'm burning clean." —R.E.M., "Electrolite"

"Seems that I was busy doing something close to nothing, but different than the day before." —Prince, "Raspberry Beret"

"Time can never mend the careless whispers of a good friend." —Wham!, "Careless Whisper"

"I'll see you and I'll raise you off the floor. I'll floor you and we'll dance without a band." —X, "The Once Over Twice"

"I can't wait to put the icing on the cake." —B-52s, "Cake"

"I never dreamt that I would get to be the creature that I always meant to be." —Pet Shop Boys, "Being Boring"

"No family is safe when I sashay." —Perfume Genius, "Queen"

"All I ask is to live each moment free from the past." —Crowded House, "All I Ask"

"I want to take you down to the side of the city where the sun doesn't shine and the moon isn't pretty." —Lloyd Cole, "Downtown"

"I'm hot, and I don't care who knows it. I got a job to do." —Prince, "Black Sweat"

"I'll shake this world off my shoulders. Come on, baby, this laugh's on me." —Bruce Springsteen, "Dancing in the Dark"

"It was love about to happen, I'm serious." —Ebn-Ozn, "AEIOU Sometimes Y"

"Trust me, I'm a doctor. And you suffer from a rare form of attractiveness." —Momus, "Trust Me I'm a Doctor"

"Sometimes I stand in the middle of the floor, not going left, not going right." —Liza Minnelli, "Losing My Mind"

"Don't give me that bullshit, you know who I am. I'm your nightmare little man." —Ben Folds Five, "One Angry Dwarf & 200 Solemn Faces"

Previous Lyrics

I used to be friends with reality—she used to be a pal, real close to me. —P.M. Dawn, "Reality Used to Be a Friend of Mine"

These two words, a little bit behind the beat, I mean just enough to turn you on. —Prince, "Joy in Repetition"

I'd like to think that I'm a man of exquisite taste, a hundred percent Italian silk imported Egyptian lace. —Prince, "Adore"

If anybody asks you, you belong to Prince. —Prince, "Private Joy"

Gotta find a gas station, gotta find a pay phone. This turnpike sure is spooky at night when you're all alone. —Bruce Springsteen, "Open All Night"

You’d sell your soul for a tacky song like the ones you hear on the radio. —Neneh Cherry, "Manchild"

It doesn't make me nervous—if anything, I'm restless. Yeah, I've been around and I've seen it all. —Tove Lo, "Habits"

And if the music ain't good, well it's just too bad—we're gonna sing along no matter what. —Scissor Sisters, "Take Your Mama"

I know you've got a little life in you yet. I know you've got a lot of strength left. —Kate Bush, "This Woman's Work"

Who's going to love the loveless, if not you?—Lloyd Cole, "Loveless"

I am Voyager, flying blind through unimaginable space and time. —Momus, "Voyager"

You're bound to win, 'cause if I'm betting against you, I think I'd rather lose. —Jack Johnson, "Cocoon"

But if you hurt what's mine, I'll sure as hell retaliate. —Massive Attack, "Safe from Harm"

I'm like a boy among men. I'd like a permanent friend. I'd like to think that I was just myself again. —Blow Monkeys, "Digging Your Scene"

Previous Lyrics

And of course you're a bore—but in that you're not charmless. —The Velvet Underground, "Some Kinda Love"

You've changed—you're more vulnerable now. But the arrogance you had was beautiful somehow. —Momus, "You've Changed"

I'll take Manhattan in a garbage bag with Latin written on it that says, "It's hard to give a shit these days." —Lou Reed, "Romeo Had Juliette"

Old gypsy woman spoke to me, said, “You're a wolf, boy, get out of this town." —Sea Wolf, "You're a Wolf"

Save the cool white stare and treat me to an honest face sometime. —10,000 Maniacs, "Scorpio Rising"

Roll me in designer sheets—I'll never get enough. —Blondie, "Call Me"

Tell me, what's your zip code baby? Did you ever let a cowboy sit on your lap? —Beck, "Broken Train"

I got my cat moves, that so upset them. —The Waitresses, "I Know What Boys Like"

Peel back the mountains, peel back the sky. Stomp gravity into the floor. —R.E.M., "Feeling Gravity's Pull"

He was waiting for a station just like some people wait for a train. —Michelle Shocked, "Hello Hopeville"

You get these words wrong. I just smile. —New Order, "Leave Me Alone"

Do you really think you can just put it in a safe behind a painting, lock it up, and leave? —The National, "Start a War"

Do you never rest fighting the battle of who could care less? —Ben Folds Five, "The Battle of Who Could Care Less"

What is wrong in my life that I must get drunk every night? —Fine Young Cannibals, "Johnny Come Home"

Never trust a big butt and a smile. —Bell Biv DeVoe, "Poison"

Previous Lyrics

Somebody told me something about you. —Eurythmics, "Somebody Told Me"

I'm so busy, I'm so busy thinking about kissing you. —Sufjan Stevens, "A Little Lost"

I sit at home, at my desk alone, as I used to do on many Sunday afternoons. —Vanessa Daou, "Sunday Afternoons"

You're makin' a mess, something I can't fix. This time you're on your own. —Over the Rhine, "B.P.D."

Tonight I miss my girl, mister. Tonight I miss my home. —Bruce Springsteen, "Valentine's Day"

I'll do anything for you. I'll stand out in the rain. —Sade, "The Sweetest Taboo"

You can't be too flirty, mama. I know how to undress me. —Prince, "Kiss"

If you ask me, baby, I'll get on my knees and pray. —Dawn Penn, "You Don't Love Me (No, No, No)"

Yeah, intelligent input, darling. Why don't you just have another beer then? —Kate Nash, "Foundations"

I'm a close friend of destiny when you're not here to bother me. —Shakespears Sister, "You're History"

No freedom till we're equal—damn right I support it. —Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, "Same Love"

Previous Lyrics

We are young despite the years; we are concern; we are hope despite the times. —"These Days," R.E.M.

It seems to me that maybe pretty much always means no. —"Flake," Jack Johnson

I'll give u my heart. I'll give u my mind. I'll give u my body. I'll give u my time. —"Adore," Prince

It's only natural. Can I help it if I want to? —"It's Only Natural," Crowded House

Uncertain emotions force an uncertain smile. —"Uncertain Smile," the The

Honey, if u let me, I just might do something rash. —"Strange Relationship," Prince

Only when I'm dancing can I feel this free. At night, I lock the doors, where no one else can see. —"Into the Groove," Madonna

I was just thinking about something sleek to wrap around my tender throat. —"Beethoven (I Love to Listen to)," Eurythmics

Slap me. No, somebody slap me. 'Cause I know I'm looking good. —"Meeting in the Ladies Room," Klymaxx

If Madonna calls... If Madonna calls... If Madonna calls... Tell her I'm not here. —"If Madonna Calls," Junior Vasquez

Everybody goes to parties. They dance this mess around. —"Dance This Mess Around," the B-52's

OK, fine, never mind. But reality used to be a friend of mine. —"Reality Used to Be a Friend of Mine," P.M. Dawn

What was the name of that love song you played? I forgot how it goes. —"Anchorage," Michelle Shocked

I heard the rumors and I hope they're true, 'cause you're the kind of trouble I could get into. —"You're the Kind of Trouble," Solomon Burke and Patty Loveless

Those were the reasons, and that was New York. —"Chelsea Hotel #2," Leonard Cohen

Previous Lyrics

Each time I go to bed I pray like Aretha Franklin. —"Wood Beez (Pray Like Aretha Franklin)," Scritti Politti

I guess I should've known by the way you parked your car sideways that it wouldn't last. —"Little Red Corvette," Prince

You be screaming like a white lady when I count to three. One... Two... Three... —"Black Sweat," Prince

There's nothing not to love about me. I'm lovely. —"Why Don't You Love Me" by Beyoncé

Rattle me darlin', way down inside. Fill me with rhythm so fine, fine fine. I am your tambourine. —"I Am Your Tambourine," Tift Merritt

At the tender age of three, I was hooked to a machine just to keep my mouth from spouting junk. —"Hyperactive!" Thomas Dolby

I can't wait to put the icing on the cake. —"Cake," the B-52's

It's such a drag to want something sometimes. —"Talk of the Town," the Pretenders

I'll be the wind, the rain, and the sunset, the light on your door to show that you're home. —"I'll Be Your Mirror," the Velvet Underground & Nico

When it's cold, I feel cold. When it's hot, I feel ambitious. —"Ambitious," Wire

People come and people go. All the friends that we used to know ain't comin' back. —"Manhattan," Cat Power

Should you be so lucky like St. Sebastian, preferring the ache to the aspirin. —"Lucky Like St. Sebastian," Momus

We can go for a walk where it's quiet and dry and talk about precious things. —"The Queen Is Dead," the Smiths

What a lovely way to burn. —"Fever," Peggy Lee

Previous Lyrics

I'm not the kind that likes to tell you just what you want me to. —New Order, "Age of Consent"

So when you look at me, you better look hard and look twice. Is that me baby, or just a brilliant disguise? —Bruce Springsteen, "Brilliant Disguise"

Well I think I see another side maybe—just another light that shines. —Mazzy Star, "Halah"

And there in the silence they search for the balance between this fear that they feel and the love that has graced their lives. —Cowboy Junkies, "Ring on the Sill"

You're so beautiful and calm, but with an attitude that says, 'Hands off, you're just not good enough.' —Pet Shop Boys, "Bet She's Not Your Girlfriend"

Whoever brought me here is gonna have to take me home. —Over the Rhine, "What I'll Remember Most"

If I was your girlfriend, would you let me dress you—I mean help you pick out your clothes—before we go out? —Prince, "If I Was Your Girlfriend"

Love is forever—that's all your life. Love is heaven sent. It's glamorous. —Sheila E., "The Glamorous Life"

You may be an embarrassment, but I love the way your clothes were never in style. —The Fratellis, "A Heady Tale"

I still feel the chill as I reveal my shame to you. I wear it like a tattoo. —Sade, "Like a Tattoo"

You give us a tantrum and a know-it-all grin, just when we need one, when the evening's thin. —Sarah McLachlan, "Building a Mystery"

I'm not asking much of you—just sing, little darling, sing with me. —First Aid Kit, "Emmylou"

Come on, honey—let's go make some noise. —The Bangles, "Manic Monday"

Previous Lyrics

All this chitter chatter, chitter chatter, chitter chatter about schmatte, schmatte, schmatte—I can't give it away on Seventh Avenue! —The Rolling Stones, "Shattered"

She's sure fine—fine as Whitney Houston in the daytime. —Terence Trent D'Arby, "Baby Let Me Share My Love"

Don't be too sure of that. What makes you sure of that? —The Jesus & Mary Chain and Hope Sandoval, "Sometimes Always"

Don't make me feel any colder—time is like a clock in my heart. —Culture Club, "Time (The Clock of the Heart)"

Take me on a trip—I'd like to go someday. Take me to New York; I'd love to see L.A. —Estelle and Kanye West, "American Boy"

When I breeze into that city, people gonna stoop and bow. All them women gonna make me teach 'em what they don't know how —Johnny Cash and June Carter, "Jackson"

I must be an acrobat, to talk like this and act like that. —U2, "Acrobat"

The lights go out. The smell of doom... is creeping into your lonely room. —Prince, "Shockadelica"

You should see me when you're not around: I'm a genius in this town; I'm a queen bee when the coast is clear. —Shakepears Sister, "You're History"

Slap me. No, somebody slap me. —Klymaxx, "The Men All Pause"

And I feel like I just got home. —Madonna, "Ray of Light"

Grab your pack, my darling, grab your pack and walk with me. —Voice of the Beehive, "I Walk the Earth"

Previous Lyrics

I’m going to watch the bluebirds fly over my shoulder. I’m going to watch them pass me by, maybe when I’m older (Velvet Underground, "Candy Says")

So won't you run to me tonight? Tonight, let's not talk about next summer, because I'll only ever be a middle distance runner (Sea Wolf, "Middle Distance Runner")

Used-to-be's don't count anymore. They just lay on the floor till we sweep them away (Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond, "You Don't Bring Me Flowers")

Don't cha know me, Kansas City? I'm the new Berlin Wall—try and tear me down (Hedwig & the Angry Inch, "Tear Me Down")

I don't mean to laugh out loud—I'm trying to come clean, trying to shed my doubt. Maybe I should just keep my big mouth shut (Over the Rhine, "Long Lost Brother")

I'll give you fish. I'll give you candy. I'll give you everything I have ever had (The B-52s, "Give Me Back My Man")

But what I really wanna know is.... Are you gonna go my way? (Lenny Kravitz, "Are You Gonna Go My Way")

Every time I comb my hair, thoughts of you get in my eyes (Prince, "Girl")

I'm like a boy among men. I'd like a permanent friend. I'd like to think that I was just myself again (Blow Monkeys, "Digging Your Scene")

Hot thing, maybe you should give your folks a call.... Tell 'em you're coming home late if you're coming home at all (Prince, "Hot Thing")

Previous Lyrics

This doesn't have to be the big get-even. This doesn't have to be anything at all (Stevie Nicks & Tom Petty, "Stop Draggin' My Heart Around")

You were sitting, your fingers like fuses; your eyes were cinnamon (Beth Orton, "Stolen Car")

I have one thing to say: You better work (RuPaul, "Supermodel")

Come on and crawl up to your window, darlin'—let me whisper in your ear (Cowhoy Junkies, "Shining Moon")

Sometimes I stand in the middle of the floor, not going left, not going right (Liza Minnelli, "Losing My Mind")

That stuff you play, it sounds so passé. Don't get me wrong, I like you—but I don't like your band (Annie, "I Don't Like Your Band")

Here comes that feeling that I'd forgotten—how strange these streets feel when you're alone on them (Cowboy Junkies, "Sun Comes Up, It's Tuesday Morning")

You'd sell your soul for a tacky song, like the ones you hear on the radio. Turn around and ask yourself: Manchild, will you ever win? (Neneh Cherry, "Manchild")

You've got my conscience on the trot. You've got me walking round the block. You've got me searching for experience (Momus, "London 1888")

And the sunlight shining through the crack in the windowpane numbs my brain (Van Morrison, "T.B. Sheets")

If this is redemption, why do I bother at all? There's nothing to mention, and nothing has changed (James Vincent McMorrow, "We Don't Eat")