The General Situation

Kristin Scott Thomas Prefers a Good "No" to a Feeble "Yes"

If you must deny Kristin Scott Thomas’s request, tell her no directly. Even offering no response at all trumps saying yes and then acting as if you hadn't.

Should Kristin Scott Thomas arrive unaccompanied at your restaurant, you would be wise not to greet her with “Just one?”

What you gain in efficiency by not replacing Kristin Scott Thomas's silverware between courses is not worth the lost diginity.

You shall remove your earbuds when engaging with Kristin Scott Thomas.

Were Kristin Scott Thomas to drop change on the sidewalk, you need not feel compelled to return it to her. Doing so simply forces her to act pleased about something that, rather literally, she could not give a sou about.

A Kristin Scott Thomas sigh is occasionally a sign of weariness. More often than not, however, it's from disappointment.

Have You Emulated Kristin Scott Thomas Today?

Kristin Scott Thomas is quite aware of what she ordered for dinner. You need not remind her when you bring it to her.

If Kristin Scott Thomas informs you that your Christmas card was cute, you would do well to acknowledge her.

Imagine Kristin Scott Thomas in a queue, waiting to be helped in a service capacity. Now imagine a telephone caller being given precedence over her.

Kristin Scott Thomas cannot imagine interacting with a QR code.

Any hotel that desires Kristin Scott Thomas to reuse a towel should really provide at least one towel rack.

Do not ever point a billiard cue at Kristin Scott Thomas whilst speaking with her.

You are not embarrassed about playing Candy Crush, nor about broadcasting it on social media. But Kristin Scott Thomas knows to look away.

Even Kristin Scott Thomas does not attempt to save a barstool for someone. There are rules.

Amateurs

Does Kristin Scott Thomas Work for You?

If you're not using that barstool then kindly move away. Kristin Scott Thomas does not give a whit if your friend is arriving any minute now.

Kristin Scott Thomas should always be warned in advance if her presence is expected at a non-social engagement for longer than an hour.

It is not wise to tell Kristin Scott Thomas to call you, when you know very well that you have her number. Exception: Harvey Weinstein.

Until Kristin Scott Thomas has demonstrated patience, there's no point in thanking her for it.

Kristin Scott Thomas disapproves of your copying strangers on emails: Who are these people?

When Kristin Scott Thomas is carrying a large—and wildly hypothetical—package down the street, best to move out of her way. And stay on the right side of the pavement while you're at it. This isn't London.

You Will Know When You Have Met Kristin Scott Thomas

He who appears wary of contact with Kristin Scott Thomas's hand whilst dispensing her change will not be the recipient of a gratuity.

No, Kristin Scott does not want to call back later. She would much prefer you to take a message.

When you and/or your baggage bump into Kristin Scott Thomas's person, you have no right to expect her to say “Pardon me," do you?

Pretend for a moment that you and Kristin Scott Thomas are meeting in public somewhere, and pretend that you are strangers to each other. Upon her approach, you would do well to turn away from the stranger with whom you have struck up a conversation and acknowledge her presence rather than leave her dangling in confusion.

Please bcc Kristin Scott Thomas instead of cc-ing her. La discrétion est tout!

Kristin Scott Thomas believes that you should not say "Nice to see you" to anyone whose acquaintance you have just made. It displays a lack of rigor.

If you must know, and it appears you must, Kristin Scott Thomas always presses the button when a public loo refuses to autoflush.

What Would Kristin Scott Thomas Do?

When Kristin Scott Thomas is not able to attend an event to which she has been invited, such as the Academy or César Awards, she sends her regrets without fail. (Unless she is invited via Facebook, obviously; those go ignored.)

No one places a hand on the back of Kristin Scott Thomas's neck whilst walking with her.

When she sees an able-bodied person using an electronic door opener meant for the handicapped, Kristin Scott Thomas invariably deduces that his disability must be mental.

Anyone holding a phone to his ear and speaking to Kristin Scott Thomas will not be receiving a response from her.

If Kristin Scott Thomas were in a supermarché, she would stand near the shelf she is perusing and not on the other side of the aisle.

Once she has finished her coffee at one of those American-style self-service cafés, Kristin Scott Thomas will hand you her demitasse if there's no obvious place to put it. If you don't actually work at the establishment, you should probably invest more effort in your attire.

Kristin Scott Thomas does not give a whit about the device from which you emailed her. Moreover, excuses made in advance for typographical errors aren't worth much, in her opinion.

Let's Get That Order Fixed

The Cocktail Comes to Kristin Scott Thomas, and Not Vice Versa

Expectorating into a garbage receptacle, in Kristin Scott Thomas's opinion, is only notionally preferable to violating the street itself.

Was there ever a time when Kristin Scott Thomas sipped wine from a plastic cup?

Kristin Scott Thomas would sooner not post a Christmas card at all than address the envelope to one of the recipients by Christian name only, as if he were the family dog.

If Kristin Scott Thomas worked in a cubicle—researching a role, for example—she would not even consider watching online videos of guitar solos during her "lunch hour."

Kristin Scott Thomas knows in her heart that it is wiser to risk spilling your martini than to bend over and lap the drink as it sits atop the bar.

If your chair is touching Kristin Scott Thomas's chair, then your fidgety behaviour is a nuisance.

Kristin Scott Thomas Would Like You to Get on With It Already

Whilst frequenting an American-style café, Kristin Scott Thomas would never blithely taste her coffee as someone behind her waited to access the milk.

Kristin Scott Thomas would not spit in public even if an insect were to fly into her mouth.

If someone is emptying a public garbage can—or sifting through its contents—a considerate person such as Kristin Scott Thomas looks for another receptacle to use.

Kristin Scott Thomas does not leave cigarettes burning on the sidewalk. But then Kristin Scott Thomas does not smoke on the street.

It is the opinion of Kristin Scott Thomas that plastic bags designed to hold dog waste need not be transparent.

Kristin Scott Thomas has never lived above a Starbucks. Obviously! Nevertheless, as an actress, she can empathize with those who must listen to other people’s dogs as they bark upsettingly regarding being tied outside.

Kristin Scott Thomas Will Respond When (and If) She Pleases

To Kristin Scott Thomas, the phrase "save the date" indicates that a real invitation is forthcoming.

When you carelessly mention an upcoming party on a "social network," you are most likely reminding many other people that they were not invited. Kristin Scott Thomas would not be able to attend anyway, of course, but she does feel sympathy for the others.

If Kristin Scott Thomas runs into an acquaintance on the street, and she chooses to acknowledge him or her, she will remove her sunglasses so that the acquaintance in question will more easily recognize her. Anyone less famous, such as you, should clearly do the same.

Please don't loiter in front of Kristin Scott Thomas's front door, unless you are visiting her or delivering a parcel.

People who start a conversation whilst wearing headphones ought not to appear put out when they have to remove said headphones in order to participate in the conversation.

If you opt to speak on your mobile phone in the company of others, even if they are strangers, the burden really is on you to try and say something interesting. Kristin Scott Thomas always does.