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I'm just saying...
- Houseguests are like newborns: Great pains should be taken to keep them asleep.
- Sometimes I think everyone I know is on the spectrum.
- Best to avoid any gas pump that also offers diesel.
- Skip the exit interview.
- When did car windshields get impossible to clean on the inside?
- Cookbooks should be very clear about which recipe is featured on the cover.
- Penne is the saddest pasta.
- Don't eat a dish named after a volcano.
- Nobody cares about your app.
- It's time to remove that note at the end of your emails asking people not to print them.
- If you think about it, gum is weird.
- Business idea: TV channel devoted to terror attacks.
- Please don't tell me about your favorite TV show.
- The more reachable I've become, the less likely I am to answer my phone.
previous lyrics
- You got a look in your eye when you're saying goodbye, like you want to say hi
- I'll settle for a cup of coffee, but you know what I really need
- Don't give me that bullshit, you know who I am. I'm your nightmare little man
- Sometimes I stand in the middle of the floor, not going left, not going right
- Trust me, I'm a doctor. And you suffer from a rare form of attractiveness
- It was love about to happen, I'm serious
- I'll shake this world off my shoulders. Come on, baby, this laugh's on me
- I'm hot, and I don't care who knows it. I got a job to do
- I want to take you down to the side of the city where the sun doesn't shine and the moon isn't pretty
- All I ask is to live each moment free from the past
- No family is safe when I sashay
- I never dreamt that I would get to be the creature that I always meant to be
- I can't wait to put the icing on the cake
- I'll see you and I'll raise you off the floor. I'll floor you and we'll dance without a band
- Time can never mend the careless whispers of a good friend
- Seems that I was busy doing something close to nothing, but different than the day before
- Your eyes are burning holes through me. I'm gasoline. I'm burning clean
- There's one year of my life in these songs, and some of them are about you
- I'm not a slut! I just love love
- Never stop living here till it eats the heart from your soul, keeps down the sound of your silent sigh
- This will be the last time I ever do your hair
- Maybe we could walk around, all day long. Walk around, all day long
- They tell me God forgives you for almost anything you do
- If you need me, I'll be where my reputation don't precede me
Categories
- Adventures in Hyperlocalism
- Celebrity Dreams
- Commercial
- Conversations
- Country Life
- Flowers
- Howard the Pug
- I Love-Hate New York
- I'm Just Saying...
- Kristin Scott Thomas
- Lyrics
- Mixtape
- Nutmegger
- Poetry
- Rants
- Raves
- Recipes
- Santa Barbara
- Sentences I Wish I'd Written
- Travel
- Vocab Lesson
- What I Learned in the NYT
07 January 2015
04 January 2014
18 November 2013
15 September 2013
Conscience Point
Today was not a good day. While parking by the side of the road in Connecticut, about to go on a walk in the woods, I drove our car into a tree. Adam was in the passenger seat, which made it better and worse. On one hand, I didn't have to try to explain what happened (why and/or how being another matter entirely). On the other hand, I couldn't pretend that there was a logical explanation.
The car was mostly parked; the ground was very uneven and the tree was a couple of feet ahead of us. For some reason—the tape won't rewind that far—I thought my foot was on the brake, so when the car oddly kept inching forward, I pushed the pedal harder. "What are you doing?" yelled Adam. "Stop!" I just stared in shock as the car hit the tree trunk. It's amazing how much damage you can do in two feet. The sole bright spot is that the airbags didn't deploy.
"I feel like Lizzie Grubman," I said on the way home. (Adam drove.) She was the PR chick who, in 2001, mistook the gas for the brake and rammed her truck into partygoers outside a nightclub called Consicence Point.
"At least she was drunk," Adam replied.Indeed. If you behave stupidly for a reason—even if it's the wrong reason—you can take some solace in the fact that you had thought about it. Your decision-making was flawed; you can analyze and/or rationalize why. If you were drunk, you can blame the booze. If you do something stupid for no reason at all, however, then your mind, in the subsequent hours and probably days, but I hope not weeks, turns it over again and again, trying to grab hold of something impossibly slippery. All you have to keep you warm is that nobody was hurt and it could've been worse. In fact, as I was just about to post this, Adam said, "It was a good thing you weren't in a parking lot or you could've damaged another car, too."
P.S. This is not an invitation to broach this topic with me.
02 September 2013
12 August 2013
I Spy Spiders
There was a spider's nest in the armrest of one of the chairs on the porch of the house we rent in Connecticut—as we discovered only after hundreds of baby spiders could be spotted in the web. Every now and then, such as when you breathed on them, they'd take a few steps and then settle back down. It was awesome. And then, one day, they were gone.
08 August 2013
[Shrugs]
It's even funnier when you know that she has kids.