"You have so much white in your hair!" is not a correct way to greet someone, no matter how long it has been since you've seen each other. Just FYI.
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This pretty much sums up where we are with the house.
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Mom: Oh, I have a voicemail! [Listens.] It was Jan Brown.
Me: Who's Jan Brown?
Mom: She's married to Big Dick.
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One of the local magazines asked me to write a couple of items, which was nice of them. One was about Revolver, a new pizzeria with a raffish vibe. It included this line: "The small room is decorated with Bodden’s own artwork, records, and cookbooks, and the handful of tables out front look straight out a thrift store." As you might have noticed, it's missing a word; I meant to type "straight out of a thrift store." (Italics mine.) Someone changed it to "straight out onto a thrift store"—and, unfortunately, (a) they never ran the edited version by me, and (b) there is no thrift store nearby. It put me in the unenviable position of having to tell Bodden that I had my actual point was that his furniture looks cheap and used, a line he otherwise would've glossed right over.
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I couldn't resist seconds....
Me: Is Jan Brown happily married to Big Dick?
Mom: Oh, yes.
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Wisdom from designer Ron Arad in the Financial Times:
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Adam: I need a new book to read.
Me: You could try the John Banville book I just bought. It's a mystery.
Adam: What about this one on the coffee table?
Me: Sure. It's about mushrooms.
Adam: Is it fiction? [Pause.] Why are you laughing?