My Photo

I'm just saying...

  • Tandem bikes: for the active codependent.
  • All public restrooms should have locks that indicate whether they're vacant or occupied.
  • I would pay extra for an edition of the New York Times with no opinion pieces.
  • Evite should run reviews and ratings from party guests.
  • Prius drivers are the worst.
  • Someday I'd like to have a washing machine that's not at knee-level.
  • Train travel is better in the abstract.
  • Artists should have websites indicating where their works are on display, the way musicians' websites list upcoming shows.
  • Why is stand-up comedy in movies always so terrible?
  • Nothing kills the vibe at a restaurant bar like a laptop.
  • Is a "knowledge base" ever useful?
  • Houseguests are like newborns: Great pains should be taken to keep them asleep.
  • Sometimes I think everyone I know is on the spectrum.

previous lyrics

  • Don't let the chlorine in your eyes blind you to the awful surprise
  • I think I lost it, let me know if you come across it
  • Time is like a clock in my heart
  • Walk beside me, not behind me. Feel my unconditional love
  • You always knew you were tired, but then where are your friends tonight?
  • It's too late tonight to drag the past out into the light
  • This may come as some surprise, but I miss you
  • I walked home smiling—I finally had a story to tell
  • I kissed you in a style Clark Gable would have admired. I thought it classic
  • If you knew how I felt now, you wouldn't act so adult now
  • Under the kitchen light, you still look like dynamite
  • The culture is lit, and if this is it, I had a ball
  • I was dreaming when I wrote this, so sue me if I go too fast
  • I never wanted to be your weekend lover
  • Sometimes I wish for a mistake
  • Downstairs the party is going full swing. The people we came with haven't noticed a thing
  • It’s not safe to go out, it’s not right to stay home. Listen, my advice is to carry a gun
  • And anyways I'd rather listen to Coltrane than go through all that shit again
  • Up to Lexington, 125—feel sick and dirty, more dead than alive
  • Whoever brought me here is gonna have to take me home
  • I hear you knockin', but there ain't nobody home
  • What's practical? What's logical? What the hell, who cares?
  • I don't know what I knew before, but now I know I want to win the war
  • Tell me something that you mean, not just what comes to mind
  • I don't know my future after this weekend, and I don't want to
  • I see you driving sports cars, ain't hitting the throttle, and I'll be down to do a hundred, top down and goggles
  • Sing me another love song, but this time with a little dedication
  • You got a look in your eye when you're saying goodbye, like you want to say hi
  • I'll settle for a cup of coffee, but you know what I really need

Categories

Archives

More...

« A Weekend in Copenhagen | Main | Purple Rain »

19 June 2019

Such as It Is

Spotted in Copenhagen: a robotic lawnmower. I'm sure this is old news to folks in suburbia, but it was exciting to us.

Robot vacuum
····················

Also in Copenhagen: One of the best neon signs I've seen. The restaurant next door, which is related, also had freehand neon, but in all caps.

Copenhagen Ravage sign
····················

A zombie pug or simply a pug that's hungry for more?

Zombie pug
····················

Every week, Newcomers send out an email with upcoming events. Adam thinks that "sexathon" is intentional—an amusing play on sexathlon—but I'm unconvinced.

Sexathon
····················

We were leaving an open house recently when Adam asked if I had grabbed a brochure. "Yep," I said, "such as it is." Usually, Montecito real-estate materials are over-the-top, but this was a simple sheet of card stock. The male half of a straight couple arriving on the scene laughed at my response. "Did you say 'such as it is'?" he asked, and I nodded. He laughed again and punched me lightly on the arm. I'm pretty good at seeing the joke, even if I don't find it funny, but this one totally eludes me. Or was "such as it is" the punchline in some movie I never saw?