Cashier: You already have an umbrella, but you're buying two more? It must be raining hard out there.
Me: Not really. I don't have any short ones, and these are on sale, so I'm stocking up.
Cashier: Do you need a bag?
Me: No, I have a bag. I have a bag, I have umbrellas....
Cashier: You're all geared up.
Me: I'm fucking awesome.
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