While my friend Tracy was in town, we stopped by a store that's having a big closing sale. As we left, one of the owners walked us out—and then handed me a $20 bill. It was ostensibly for buying Howard treats (if I understood correctly), although a miscommunication over Tribeca Citizen advertising may have been involved. In any event, after much discussion on the sidewalk, I finally managed to get him to take the money back.
Tracy: What just happened there?
Me: I don't know! Why would he give me $20? I don't understand!
Tracy: Were you buying drugs from him?
Me: No! What are you talking about? That would be the most awkward drug deal ever. And I don't do drugs!
Tracy: Did you have sex with him?
Me: What?! [Pause.] Twenty DOLLARS?!
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