A couple of weeks ago, while walking to an event I didn't want to attend, I ran into someone I used to work with. We hadn't spoken in years, even though I'm quite fond of him, and we briefly commiserated about the state of journalism. He had seen my HSBC commercial and suggested I pursue being a commercial actor; other people have said similar things, and it always leaves me a bit deflated, like the time someone told me I should be a game-show host or a weatherman. (Um, thanks?) Anyway, he also said I could be the next John Hodgman, which pleased me. These mini-thoughts from my "I'm Just Saying" sidebar seem sort of Hodgmanesque, or what I imagine Hodgmanesqueness to be.*
• Just because I mistype the password doesn't mean you have to clear the user-name field.
• Were the people who made Up baked or what?
• Why does Google try to be cute?
• I sort of miss Gwyneth Paltrow. UPDATE: Still do, but less. P.S. The browser spellcheck recognizes "Gwyneth" as a word. Is that when you know you've made it?
• I just double-moisturized my thighs by accident. Watch out world.
• Edible Arrangements? Are you fucking kidding me?
• When bakeries use a sheet of waxed paper to grab something, why do they stick the waxed paper in the bag? Why would I want it?
• Flatware that won't rest on the side of a plate—flatware with rounded handles, for instance—is a fail.
• Just once I'd like to get two uses out of a tube of Krazy Glue.
• I can't think of a reason why any hamburger should have three patties.
• Other people's dishwashers are a mystery.
• Do churches not have windows to stop worshippers from seeing out or to stop non-worshippers from seeing in?
* John Hodgman is best known as the PC guy in the Apple ads. And, actually, that's all I know about him—but Apple beats HSBC any day of the year....
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