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I'm just saying...

  • Tandem bikes: for the active codependent.
  • All public restrooms should have locks that indicate whether they're vacant or occupied.
  • I would pay extra for an edition of the New York Times with no opinion pieces.
  • Evite should run reviews and ratings from party guests.
  • Prius drivers are the worst.
  • Someday I'd like to have a washing machine that's not at knee-level.
  • Train travel is better in the abstract.
  • Artists should have websites indicating where their works are on display, the way musicians' websites list upcoming shows.
  • Why is stand-up comedy in movies always so terrible?
  • Nothing kills the vibe at a restaurant bar like a laptop.
  • Is a "knowledge base" ever useful?
  • Houseguests are like newborns: Great pains should be taken to keep them asleep.
  • Sometimes I think everyone I know is on the spectrum.

previous lyrics

  • Don't let the chlorine in your eyes blind you to the awful surprise
  • I think I lost it, let me know if you come across it
  • Time is like a clock in my heart
  • Walk beside me, not behind me. Feel my unconditional love
  • You always knew you were tired, but then where are your friends tonight?
  • It's too late tonight to drag the past out into the light
  • This may come as some surprise, but I miss you
  • I walked home smiling—I finally had a story to tell
  • I kissed you in a style Clark Gable would have admired. I thought it classic
  • If you knew how I felt now, you wouldn't act so adult now
  • Under the kitchen light, you still look like dynamite
  • The culture is lit, and if this is it, I had a ball
  • I was dreaming when I wrote this, so sue me if I go too fast
  • I never wanted to be your weekend lover
  • Sometimes I wish for a mistake
  • Downstairs the party is going full swing. The people we came with haven't noticed a thing
  • It’s not safe to go out, it’s not right to stay home. Listen, my advice is to carry a gun
  • And anyways I'd rather listen to Coltrane than go through all that shit again
  • Up to Lexington, 125—feel sick and dirty, more dead than alive
  • Whoever brought me here is gonna have to take me home
  • I hear you knockin', but there ain't nobody home
  • What's practical? What's logical? What the hell, who cares?
  • I don't know what I knew before, but now I know I want to win the war
  • Tell me something that you mean, not just what comes to mind
  • I don't know my future after this weekend, and I don't want to
  • I see you driving sports cars, ain't hitting the throttle, and I'll be down to do a hundred, top down and goggles
  • Sing me another love song, but this time with a little dedication
  • You got a look in your eye when you're saying goodbye, like you want to say hi
  • I'll settle for a cup of coffee, but you know what I really need

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13 October 2009

Flip Out

Ten cents a dance

As you might guess from the recently posted photos, I'm just back from a work trip to Mexico.

On the fourth day, our group was scheduled to visit a "dolphin encounter." When I first saw it on the schedule, it struck me as the highlight of the week—I've never been up close to a dolphin. But on the way over, I began to feel dread. I don't like zoos, and this was no different: animals penned up for the amusement of humans. But I really wanted to do it! My brain kept searching for workarounds. Maybe I needed to participate, in order to write about it. (Not really.) Maybe I was being hypocritical, seeing as how I have a dog. (But pugs could never survive in the wild. And even if they could, already being guilty of one thing hardly excuses you from doing it again.) I wondered if I should go along if only so that I wouldn't ruin the experience for everyone else. Alas, I've never been a fan of martyrdom.

As soon as I saw the dolphins swimming around in the enclosure, I knew I couldn't do it. I didn't want to bring everyone else down, though, so I was vague about why I wouldn't be participating. (Consequently, it sounded as if I'd had a bad experience with a dolphin at some point.) No one really gave a shit.

Were the dolphins unhappy? I don't know. They looked like they were enjoying themselves, as the members in my group certainly did. The introductory video had said that the company's dolphins live around 10 years longer than dolphins in the wild, due to a healthier diet, veterinary care, and a less stressful environment. All of that made me wonder whether I was being ridiculous. Then, while I was taking photos of the others, the house vet explained how several of the dolphins had been "born in captivity." Even typing it now, the phrase gives me the creeps. Captivity is a pretty word for an awful thing. The dolphins may not have been unhappy, but I have to believe they would be happier if they were free.

I can't blame anyone else for wanting to be close to a dolphin—they're gorgeous creatures. I sincerely hope to encounter a dolphin one day, but only if it's in the wild, on the dolphin's terms.

Tags: dolphin

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