It always makes me a little crazy when people on the street say, "Oh your dog is so ugly!"—not just because it's rude, but because I honestly think pugs aren't ugly-cute in the way, say, that a bulldog is. Pugs are cute-cute. Nonetheless, a while back I began serenading him with the (unfortunate in hindsight) Michael Jackson hit "P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)," but I changed it to "P.U.G. (Pretty Ugly)." Today, while having some wallpaper put up, I got really bored—but couldn't do any real work—so, naturally, I wrote my own lyrics to "P.Y.T."
P.U.G. (Pretty Ugly)
Where did you come from, puggy?
Givin' me that bug-eyed stare
Look what I got you, buddy—
Pup-Peroni! Just sit for me
Freak of nature
Pugger walk with me
Please don't squat now
Wait till we're outside
Try to be polite
Bark but don't you bite
Then tonight rest your walnut brain
Be good and you get more snacks
I want to pet you (P.U.G.)
Pretty ugly
You need some brushin' (T.L.C.)
Fur flies everywhere
But you sure don't care
I want to pet you (P.U.G.)
Pretty ugly
You need some brushin' (T.L.C.)
Fur flies everywhere
Aren't we quite the pair
Warn me if you gotta go
Nothin' can stop your snortin'
Breathin' ain't easy it's true
Gotta clean your folds baby
Or the vet's gonna holler at me
New collar you're sportin'
Men in Black's on TV
Don't you know now is the perfect time
On the couch we'll curl
Your tail will unfurl
Till I hurl
Anal glands actin' up
Still you're my number one pup
I want to pet you (P.U.G.)
Pretty ugly
You need some brushin' (T.L.C.)
Fur flies everywhere
But you sure don't care
I want to pet you (P.U.G.)
Pretty ugly
You need some brushin' (T.L.C.)
Fur flies everywhere
Aren't we quite the pair
Pretty uglies, repeat after me
I said na na na (woof woof woof)
Na na na (woof woof woof)
Na na na (woof woof woof)
I said na na na (woof woof woof woof woof)
Love that puggy glare
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