I woke up in the middle of the night to find Adam's hand resting on my left flank. "This is the tenderloin," he said. "I was dreaming of brisket."
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previous lyrics
- I want to take you down to the side of the city where the sun doesn't shine and the moon isn't pretty
- All I ask is to live each moment free from the past
- No family is safe when I sashay
- I never dreamt that I would get to be the creature that I always meant to be
- I can't wait to put the icing on the cake
- I'll see you and I'll raise you off the floor. I'll floor you and we'll dance without a band
- Time can never mend the careless whispers of a good friend
- Seems that I was busy doing something close to nothing, but different than the day before
- Your eyes are burning holes through me. I'm gasoline. I'm burning clean
- There's one year of my life in these songs, and some of them are about you
- I'm not a slut! I just love love
- Never stop living here till it eats the heart from your soul, keeps down the sound of your silent sigh
- This will be the last time I ever do your hair
- Maybe we could walk around, all day long. Walk around, all day long
- They tell me God forgives you for almost anything you do
- If you need me, I'll be where my reputation don't precede me
17 December 2018
31 October 2018
10 October 2018
Sleepjoking
Last night, I dreamed that I was overseeing the writers at "Saturday Night Live" (just go with it), and we had been told to come up with a skit regarding First Man, the new movie about Neil Armstrong's walk on the moon. I suggested we have him arrive on the moon, only to find a lesbian couple who had already moved there—in a U-Haul, natch—having decided that Brooklyn was too gentrified.
06 September 2018
At Franklin Street
Adam: Why would the MTA choose this station to honor Aretha Franklin?
Me: [Pause.] Seriously?
10 August 2018
At the Conservatorium Hotel
Adam: [Crouching in front of window.]
Me: I think it only opens a few inches.
Adam: Oh.
Me: And you'll probably hurt yourself.
Adam: You're right. Can you do it?
I'm just saying...
- Penne is the saddest pasta.
- Don't eat a dish named after a volcano.
- Nobody cares about your app.
- It's time to remove that note at the end of your emails asking people not to print them.
- If you think about it, gum is weird.
- Business idea: TV channel devoted to terror attacks.
- Please don't tell me about your favorite TV show.
- The more reachable I've become, the less likely I am to answer my phone.