1/7: A supervillain Lady Gaga terrorized a bunch of people (including me) with poison darts and other weapons.
1/10: I watched a comedic caper film starring Ben Affleck on a cruise ship.
1/14: The New York Post ran photos of Leonardo DiCaprio indulging his foot fetish.
1/20: I watched a TV show with Julia Roberts and Emma Roberts as a mother and daughter.
2/20: I took something to Alton Brown to be dry-cleaned and he was a royal jerk when he lost it.
2/20: Anna Wintour was very furry, like an animal.
2/27: A man brought us a pug to adopt, but we could only have it if Oprah passed on it.
3/11: I had to take care of Robert Redford and his wife in a post-apocalyptic zombie situation.
3/12: George Clooney and I were pulling a con job that turned dangerous.
3/17: I watched a movie in which Cameron Diaz tried very hard to sleep with Tila Tequila.
4/6: My family went to visit Cher's extended family, which was having a huge fight.
5/2: In a post-apocalyptic world dominated by ruthless Vikings, I visited Gloria Vanderbilt's new tower penthouse.
5/7: I watched a romantic comedy film in which Gloria Vanderbilt played a mother.
6/28: Some friends and I practiced our Bea Arthur impressions.
7/14: Alice Waters led my friend Andrea and me on a cross-country walk in winter, and we were very happy to reach a resort with a hot tub.
7/17: My friend Lisa asked if I had seen any recent Rene Russo movies, and then suddenly I was watching a film where Rene Russo goes tubing while naked.
7/26: I attended a screening of an old homemade porn movie starring Kris Kristofferson.
7/27: I was involved in a murder mystery with Scarlett Johansson and the Muppets.
8/5: The cast of "Girls" invited me to a party at the house of one of the actor's parents and then the cops came.
8/8: I worked at a law firm with Emma Stone, Mark Ruffalo, and Janeane Garofalo.
8/11: Hillary Clinton had turned into Felicity Huffman.
8/30: I found a metal sign reading "Lee Grant" that was formerly owned by Alexander McQueen.
9/3: Adam and I threw a party at our estate, with Chris Martin among the guests. I wore a coat once owned by Ralph Richardson.
9/19: Some people came to my door looking for Gail Sheehy.
9/22: Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, and I shopped an Hermès sample sale.
10/8: Shailene Woodley caught me eating Fritos.
10/9: Sutton Foster taught some friends and me a few ballet steps.
10/21: At a house party with 10 men and 10 women, (one of whom was Lena Dunham) we cuddled with big dogs and then went bowling with gourds at a department store.
10/27: I showed Chrissy Teigen how to do laundry.
11/9: I took photos of Nancy Reagan and Merv Griffin.
12/10: At a party, Peaches sang a song titled "Back Door Baby."