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  • If I was your girlfriend, would you let me dress you—I mean help you pick out your clothes—before we go out?
  • Love is forever—that's all your life. Love is heaven sent. It's glamorous
  • You may be an embarrassment, but I love the way your clothes were never in style
  • I still feel the chill as I reveal my shame to you. I wear it like a tattoo
  • You give us a tantrum and a know-it-all grin, just when we need one, when the evening's thin
  • I'm not asking much of you—just sing, little darling, sing with me
  • Come on, honey—let's go make some noise

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06 May 2012

Something to Chew On

JeansI don't go anywhere in Tribeca without my camera in my back pocket—consequently, all of my jeans look like I chew tobacco.

in Adventures in Hyperlocalism | | Comments (3)

24 April 2012

Email from a Tribeca Citizen Reader

Reader: I'm a regular reader and resident. When are we going to see an iPhone app?

Me: When someone funds it.

in Adventures in Hyperlocalism | | Comments (0)

17 January 2012

Now We Know Why No One Advertises

Local restaurateur: This is my girlfriend. She's the brains in the organization.

Girlfriend: That's a lot of pressure!

Me: Oh, I don't know. It's all relative.

in Adventures in Hyperlocalism | | Comments (0)

06 January 2012

Explaining Some Things to a PR Person, Via Email

Me (in response to a press release about an upcoming event): Hi, Jason. I've asked a couple of times about who to approach at [the organization you represent] regarding advertising, but I never hear back. Any advice on how to proceed?

Jason: I can forward on your request to them again, but I don’t handle or work with anyone in their advertising department.

Me: Maybe you should tell them that it seems like I'll be more likely to mention these events if someone at least acknowledged my request. If that's how it seems to you, of course.

in Adventures in Hyperlocalism | | Comments (0)

19 December 2011

Cracking Myself Up

Tweet edie falco

in Adventures in Hyperlocalism | | Comments (0)

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I'm just saying...

  • Who put Wilco on my iTunes?
  • Shops should put out the Mother's Day cards and the Father's Day cards at the same time.
  • There are times when screw-top wine is a godsend.
  • I never feel quite so boring as when someone asks me how my dog is
  • Why doesn't Hershey make full-size Krackel bars when they're the ones most people go for in the Hershey Miniature packages?
  • Facebook (the idea): 10. Facebook (the execution): 4. Facebook (my interest in the people who run it): 0.
  • I spent most of "The Descendants" asking, "Why would he do that?"
  • Please don't use the phrase "secret sauce" to refer to anything other than an actual sauce.
  • I would like Mazzy Star to do an album of Cole Porter ballads.
  • "The Hunger Games" freaks me out.
  • The word "wifey" makes everyone look bad.
  • I think kidney beans might be underrated. I'm as surprised as you are.