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celebrity dreams

previous lyrics

  • They tell me God forgives you for almost anything you do
  • If you need me, I'll be where my reputation don't precede me
  • I used to be friends with reality—she used to be a pal, real close to me
  • These two words, a little bit behind the beat, I mean just enough to turn you on
  • I'd like to think that I'm a man of exquisite taste, a hundred percent Italian silk imported Egyptian lace
  • If anybody asks you, you belong to Prince
  • Gotta find a gas station, gotta find a pay phone. This turnpike sure is spooky at night when you're all alone
  • You’d sell your soul for a tacky song like the ones you hear on the radio
  • It doesn't make me nervous—if anything, I'm restless. Yeah, I've been around and I've seen it all
  • And if the music ain't good, well it's just too bad—we're gonna sing along no matter what
  • I know you've got a little life in you yet. I know you've got a lot of strength left
  • Who's going to love the loveless, if not you?
  • I am Voyager, flying blind through unimaginable space and time
  • You're bound to win, 'cause if I'm betting against you, I think I'd rather lose
  • But if you hurt what's mine, I'll sure as hell retaliate
  • I'm like a boy among men. I'd like a permanent friend. I'd like to think that I was just myself again

17 October 2016

07 October 2016

13 August 2016

11 August 2016

I'm just saying...

  • Business idea: rentable art.
  • New goal: Don't die in a way that makes it to Facebook's "Trending" list.
  • I have never wanted breakfast all day at McDonald's, but I have often wanted French fries before 11 a.m.
  • Nothing makes you sound old quite like using the word "millennials."
  • Don't talk in hotel hallways.
  • Mini-storage facilities should hold garage sale days.
  • Facebook feels about birthdays the way I did when I was eight years old.
  • I wish credit-card companies could send an alert when a refund has been processed.
  • It's only nagging if I have to ask more than once.
  • Do authors like to inscribe books because it makes getting rid of them much harder?
  • Hashtagged phrases at the end of social media posts always sound like Tourette's Syndrome outbursts.
  • Modern comedy relies too heavily on haplessness.